Saturday, October 14, 2006
I dunno what to say but I've just made a huge mistake.Should I have used more of my brain and think thoroughly,everything would be like normal,or even better perhaps.
Now all crumbled down.
and who's fault was it?
Now I'm sure people will view me like as if I'm public enemy no.1..I shouldnt have proceeded with it..Now I'm regretting it.VERY VERY MUCH.
But I can't turn back time to erase away all my wrong-doings..so now I have to succumb to the fact that I just screwed up something so much that it seems that it is beyond hope to get things as they were.
I'm so sorry.
The feeling itself is more than words.I'm feeling pain and totally disgusted with myself.
I never did such a thing..In fact no one knew that such a thing could have been done by me..
But now it seems that I'm proving everyone wrong,and thats bad.Now everyone is asking u what happened..I know u hate each time there's a mention about it..U do wish u could forget about it..and that peeps will stop 'reminding' u..Each time there's a mention about it,U'll remember about it again..every detail of it..and it changes ur mood..destroys ur day..and to know that it is my doing that is having such effects on you,I feel the pain too..all I ever wish was for happiness..but what I did ain't bringing happiness..in fact the negatives are aplenty and that positives..zilch..I never would have dream I would have caused that much pain..but now all of that have happened and my world..have just crumbled down..
People will view me differently now..I would walk around as if I'm branded on my forehead..
And I know you hate that..
Nights I have spent thinking about it..the more I gave thought about it..the more I get depressed..
Nothing will change..the damage is done..and to get over it needs patience..and of course..time..
Its hurting..seriously..and its hurting you too..
gosh.mikaail! what have you done??..
This won't happened again..
I just dont want to destroy us.
I love you girl.
I really do.haiz.
" ..it's all about you now.. "